Happy Aloha Friday, October 24th, 2025. Before my wife and I got married, we went through premarital counseling — highly recommended, by the way. Our counselor told me something that has stuck with me ever since: “When your wife brings something to you that’s bothering her, make sure you weigh the appropriate response.”
They explained that not every situation needs the same reaction. Sometimes it’s a “Hug it.” She doesn’t need you to fix the problem; she just needs a hug. Other times, it’s a “Fix it.” Don’t sit there silently when she’s asking for help. And sometimes it’s a “Vent.” She just needs you to listen — in silence. As in: silent as the grave. “An appropriate response will make all the difference.”
That single piece of advice has probably saved my marriage.
Today's Reading:
Job 15; Acts 19,20
Scripture
“Your own mouth condemns you, not mine; your own lips testify against you.” (Job 15:6 NIV)
Observation
Turns out, Job’s friends could’ve used the same counseling session.
Job is suffering, and Eliphaz decides it’s a good time for a lecture — all while Job is sitting in ashes, scraping his wounds.
Eliphaz probably thought he was helping, but his timing and tone made it worse. What Job needed wasn’t correction; it was compassion. He simply needed a friend with the appropriate response.
Application
It’s funny, but Job probably could’ve been titled, “My Life Sucks, and My ‘Friends’ Are Making It Worse.”
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is just listen. Not fix. Not explain. Just be there. That’s probably why James said, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak.”
Because when emotions run high, the wrong response, even with good intentions, can do more harm than good.
Wisdom is knowing what to say; it’s also knowing when to say nothing.
Wisdom is knowing how to give an appropriate response.
Prayer
Lord, teach me to respond with wisdom. When others hurt, help me discern the appropriate response. And when I’m the one in pain, remind me that Your presence is enough. Amen.
—Chris Kiriakos